


Flashback

by thegirlwiththemouseyhair



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: First Time, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2490977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwiththemouseyhair/pseuds/thegirlwiththemouseyhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This may grow to be a longer free-standing piece, or get cut down and referred to as a flashback in a longer story like Sons and Lovers, or both, or who knows? But take this for now, and I hope you don't mind very soppy Thomas. (Also, I feel like I've written almost all the fic for these two...)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Flashback

**Author's Note:**

> This may grow to be a longer free-standing piece, or get cut down and referred to as a flashback in a longer story like Sons and Lovers, or both, or who knows? But take this for now, and I hope you don't mind very soppy Thomas. (Also, I feel like I've written almost all the fic for these two...)

Thomas looked over at Edward’s sleeping face, and recalled the first time they’d gone to bed together. Thomas had taken a room in an inn near Farnley Hall, to be close to Edward after he’d begged Clarkson for a few days’ leave. Somehow he’d been stupid enough to blurt out all his feelings for Edward while they were alone in one of the gardens. He supposed he was overcome at seeing the other man again. He remembered wanting to kick himself, sure that Edward would be disgusted with him.

Of course he wasn’t. They’d landed up in bed together the next night, Thomas barely able to believe his luck, and Edward a little hesitant, but happier, no longer slumping in a corner as he had been before Thomas came. He’d expected Edward to be rather passive when they finally slept together, but Edward surprised him there, too. When they dozed off afterward Thomas clung to Edward as if he would never let go. Edward woke him to complain of a crick in his neck and to tease Thomas. They laughed for a moment. Then Edward stopped short and remarked that he could not think when he had last laughed at all. Thomas had kissed him in reply.

They’d stolen as many hours together as they could. Edward wavered between worry about being caught and shamed in front of the whole world – in front of his  _family_  – and wondering rather morbidly if he had anything left to lose. But he always came back to Thomas. Thomas, for his part, promised to protect Edward. (He  _would_. He had resolved that, if the worst happened, he’d say he pushed Edward into it in hopes of taking the blame himself.) Before Thomas’s leave was out Edward asked him to go back to Devon with him.

Edward was usually quiet, except when you got him a certain kind of flustered. Thomas could. Sometimes they even laughed about it, just a little. On that particular afternoon Thomas was helping Edward dress and ghosting kisses over his neck and shoulder while whispering that he loved him. Thomas had told him so often – perhaps too often – but then, he might not have a chance to say it again once his leave ended, and he’d nearly lost Edward before he could say it at all, so he didn’t mind sounding like a sop. Anyway, it seemed to make Edward happy.

“Thomas,” Edward said, in that shy tone he sometimes had, “I know this is your last day, and I’m so sorry about that.”

Thomas had been trying not to think of it. He sighed as he sat down beside Edward.

“Me too.”

Edward bit his bottom lip. “I just – You’ve done so much for me, and I hate to think of being without you.” He cleared his throat. “You know how I am. I’ll have hope for a few hours a day only to convince myself that I’m a fool to do so. But it’s easier to keep my spirits up with you. I’ve felt pleasure for the first time in I don’t know how long, and you made me laugh when I didn’t think I ever would again. I – Well. I wish you could come with me.”

Thomas’s heart began to knock against his ribs. Edward  _must_ be about to ask what he had wanted to hear for the last four days.

Edward felt for Thomas’s hand and took it.

“You mentioned several times that you wanted to leave service,” he went on. Thomas’s face warmed. He’d only said it once months before in the Downton Cottage Hospital.  _Well remembered_ , he thought.

“I can’t help you with that, and I can’t offer you much, but you said you used to do some valeting–”

Thomas gave a half-laugh, impatient. “You want me to go work for you?”

Edward nodded.

“When or if this war ever ends. The house isn’t what you’re used to, I’m sure, but we’d see each other every day.” He leaned against Thomas’s shoulder. “You say you love me, and I – I can’t imagine going without you, though I know it might be a lot to ask.”

Thomas laughed again, softly, and kissed Edward’s hair. “I couldn’t be happier. ‘Course I’ll go with you.”

Edward’s cheeks were flushed. He turned his face down as if to look away from Thomas. “Well, I feel rather guilty, chaining you to me like that…”

Thomas patted his hand. “Haven’t you been listening? I  _want_  to be with you; in fact I hoped you’d suggest it.”

He’d wanted to go off with Philip years ago, too, and had perhaps read more than he should have into his former lover’s suggestions. But that was a long time ago now. Thomas could cringe to think of how desperate he’d been and how low he had sunk in trying to make Philip take him back, but Edward was a fresh start as well as a good and kind man. Thomas would stay with him as long as he could as valet or anything else.


End file.
